I will eat anything. But I won’t eat this. This gluttonous glob of poultrified disgust is KFC’s new Double Down “sandwich”. The bread is replaced with two deep fried chicken breasts.
No, seriously.
I’m not down on the marketing people. They’re job is to get you to eat crap. Which isn’t easy because it’s, well… crap. I kind of admire the hutzpah of it all.
No, I’m interested in the PR angle. I’d love to have been a fly on the wall during the PR cost benefit analysis. On the one hand, they’re giving people what they presumably want — a mega carbo-load of afternoon nap inducing, my-life-as-a-cubicle-dweller-is-shit-distracting, neural fat-receptor tickling on their way to an insulin-resistant-I-can’t-get-out-bed-because-I-weigh-600-pounds bliss. (I think that’s a record for number of hyphens in a single sentence.)
On the other hand, KFC has become a merchant of DEATH.
On the surface, this would seem to be an easy choice. Killing people is bad. But actually that only applies to individuals outside a corporate structure. Behind a corporate shield, there’s no real personal liability. No one at a tobacco company has gone to jail for killing anyone. Tobacco companies have been sued for sure, but there’s no commandment that says: Thou shalt not expose thy corporation to liability. It’s a corporation. A thing. An abstraction. Not a person.
I can be blamed. They can’t be blamed.
So, in the case of the Double Down, we’ve shown there’s no real moral conflict at stake. The main issue then, is financial. And as long as KFC doesn’t kill people too quickly they’ll be just fine.
But, they still have an image problem. Killing people, no matter how long it takes, is still kinda of a, you know, downer. How do they turn this frown upside down?
It’s simple. You get in front of the problem. The best defense is always a better offense. Give people a choice. Offer a Double Down with grilled chicken instead of fried.
Pure genius. Just give people a choice to kill themselves a bit more slowly.
It’s your choice. They can’t be blamed.
This is why I never would have made it in marketing, because I would have put this sandwich on the menu as the new Triple Coronary Bypass Delux. See? No sense of marketing at all.
So when do we get to see RJ scarfing these down?
Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins that’s socially acceptable. Why is that? This sandwich looks disgusting. Where will one wipe one’s greasy fingers? And how easy will it be to eat on the freeway?
We no longer look upon self control and self responsibility as a good thing. Why can’t we just push this stuff away and say, “Enough?” Because it’s hard and requires that bad self control.
Enough with the sermon already.
For those of us who are oblivious to the sound of our ateries hardening…
I’m not sure the crocs in Pearls Before Swine would even eat this. I’ll check with Stephan.
Sorry, Michael….I think they would! Those crazy crocs’ll eat anything! LOL who knew zebra tastes like chicken.
Still less fat than a Big Mac.
“On the other hand, KFC has become a merchant of DEATH.” — simply brilliant!
… and a Diet Coke, thanks.
Well, to be honest… it looks good and juicy to me.
Sadly, there’s no KFC in my country.
Fortunately, Netherlands and Germany are just a few miles from where I dwell and they have KFC… yeehaa.
Your post gave me the impression that the marketing people at KFC were just dreaming this stuff up. There is a tradition at county fairs and the like of concocting deep fried whatever combos that people gravitate to for the obvious reasons. As awful as the Double Down sounds its genesis probably has more to do with this and less to do with evil skullduggery.