Verne Stabbed the Earth!

From the Yet Another Example of How I’m an Old Fart Department comes the news that no one seems interested in my tweet yesterday suggesting Hammy and Brittany from Glee dance together a la Gene Kelly and Jerry Mouse from “Anchors Aweigh.”   At the time, I thought this was a brilliant idea, sure to followed by thousands of retweets and a spontaneous campaign to demand it’s implementation.

Nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  Crickets.

Could it be the Twitterverse has never heard of Gene Kelly?  Or Tom of Tom and Jerry?  Or… GASP… the famous dance scene from Anchors Aweigh?

Is the Pope an impediment to population control?

The German subtitles are a nice touch.

Hedge Boulevard

EXT.  PARK BENCH – NOT  SO DISTANT FUTURE

FAN

You’re RJ.  You used to be in comics.  You used to be big!

RJ

I am “big”, it’s the comics that got small.

New Swag: Spatulas at Dawn

Latest T-shirt design:  Spatulas at Dawn.  Go to our CafePress store to purchase.  If you don’t see the design in a product you like just let me know and I’ll make the change.

Tilt-a-World

There is nothing wrong with your computer screen. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. He is controlling transmission. If he wishes to make it purple-er, he will make it purple-er. If he wishes to make it pixel-ier, he will make it pixel-ier.  He will control the band-width.  He will control the noise.  For the next ten seconds, sit quietly and he will control all that you see and read. He repeats: there is nothing wrong with your screen. You are about to participate in a wacky adventure. You are about to experience the awe and silliness which reaches from the inner mind to…

The Hammy Limits.

The Everready Hammy

We’re thinking about proposing a series of Hedge kid’s books that explain simple scientific concepts.  This week is a sort of test run/outline for a book explaining the seasons.    Hammy’s a perpetual four year old, so he’s the perfect “student.”  Verne is a perpetual know-it-all, so he’s the “teacher.”   And RJ is the perpetual slacker so he’s the “class clown.”

I don’t know if we’ll ever actually do this, but any encouragement will make me feel bad if we don’t.   And we all know self-loathing is my bread and butter go to motivational tool.

Just Say it and Smile

Actually, squids would be quite good at Twister.   Just saying.

Weresquids of Omaha

I saw a weresquid with a children’s menu in his mouth
Sliding through the streets of Bellevue in the rain
He was looking for a place called Applebees
Going to get himself a big dish of Mac-n-Cheese
Werequids of Omaha

If you hear him howling around your rumpus room door
Better not let him in
Little old lady got slimed late last night
Werewsquids of Omaha again
Werewsquids of Omaha

He’s the furry-feeling mista who ran amuck in La Vista
Lately he’s been overheard in Ralston
Better stay away from him
He’ll rip your spleen out, Jim
Just like an evil whaler
Weresquids of Omaha

Well, I saw Dick Cheney walking with a queen
Doing the
I saw Dick Cheney dancing with a queen
Doing the
I saw a weresquid drinking a fuzzy nipple at Chili’s bar.
His tentacles were twitching.
Weresquids of Omaha.
Draw blood

Send in the Stunt Kraken

I’m happy with this week.  Nice slapstick in the foreground.  Pointless inanity in the background.

Someone wrote a tweet about how they liked Hedge better when it was darker.   Not sure what that means.  I think we’ve always been a little bit dark, a little bit silly,  a little bit stupid and a little bit smart.  And, just occassionally, a little bit funny.

Over the Hedge: a little bit of a whole lot.

Splat Went the Weasel

My theory?  There was a second monkey who was clearly chasing the weael NOT in fun, so that a third monkey on the grassy knoll could “pop” the weasel with his RPG.   The Magruber film clearly shows the weasel’s head exploding back and to the right indicating a firing angle that could only come from the grassy knoll.   As to motive, the shooters were clearly hit monkeys hired by the mob to take out the weasel because as Lambada family Capo Dom Perry Gnome put it, “Dey weasels!  Ya gotta pop ‘em. Whadayagonnado?”

Spatulas at Dawn

Other Subtle Superheroes:

1. Irony Man
2. The Postmodernist
3. Captain Conundrum
4.  The Discourser
5.  Supraman
6.  The Beige WASP
7.  Mr. Adequet
8.  The Socraticator
9.   The Seafoam Luminaria
1o.  The League of Marginally Above Average Guys Who Mean Well