Top Four Ways You Really Don’t Want to Die
4. Crushed by blue ice from a passing jet.
3. Crushed by blue ice from a passing jet while performing autoerotic asphyxiation.
2. Crushed by blue ice from a passing jet while performing autoerotic asphyxiation in dirty underwear.
1. Crushed by blue ice from a passing jet while performing autoerotic asphyxiation in dirty underwear while reading Garfield.
Over the Hedge 
OK, Michael, how do you even think of these things. I mean, that’s really out there.
Yeah, I may have crossed the line with the “…while reading Garfield,” part.
What line? There’s a line? Why don’t people tell me these things!!??!!