5. Checker shortage due to alien abductions of low-skilled labor to work in their unobtanium mines.
4. If no one had to wait, no one would ever buy the five pound bags of Skittles that line the checkout aisles.
3. Travis, the manager, really, really regrets his liberal arts degree and he’s taking it out on you.
2. They were going to man every checkout aisle with trained lemurs, but the lemurs unionized. No more lemurs.
1. No pain, no Gain*
*Gain Hawaiian Aloha Detergent With Febreze Freshness: $14.97