Top Five Things You Should Never Wear Under a Utilikilt
5. He-Man Briefs (Size: Husky).
4. The Bat Thong.
3. Depends.
2. A Full Moon.
1. Delusions of Grandeur.
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I have to disagree with #2. The only thing a real man (or turtle) should EVER wear under his kilt is nothing, and certainly a Full Moon falls under that category. But perhaps Verne’s moon is…ahem…less than full? Maybe that’s one of those questions that RJ is smart enough not to ask.
Nobody who wears a kilt these days should expect to be taken seriously. Those guys always look like their shoes ought to have bells on the toes or a “My Little Pony” keychain for a sporin. It looks corny, anachronistic and painfully desperate for attention.
In other words, it suits Verne beautifully. I wish him all the best. AND I HOPE YOU DON’T OWN A UTILIKILT, MR FRY. I narrow my eyes suspiciously…
Why not, Rick? I know a couple of gentlemen who wear utilikilts. And they look mighty fine in them, too. I don’t know for certain what they wear under them–we’re not that well acquainted–but I have a good idea. It’s all in how you carry yourself. If you take yourself seriously, others will too. I suspect poor Verne doesn’t expect anyone to respect him–and so they don’t.
Great, now I’m thinking of “The Scotsman”. ring ding diddle diddle hie di oh
I’m inclined to think that kilts are awesome, but that could be because my brother wears a kilt and plays the bagpipes. Plus, I’m inclined to take a person seriously, whatever they wear, when they’re holding an instrument that can send me running for earplugs.
And Hammy shouldn’t call it a skirt! After all, it’s called a kilt because that’s what happens to anyone who laughs at a Scotsman and calls what they’re wearing a skirt. *maintains a perfectly straight face*