The Many Names of Hammy

Rerun week!  This one’s from 2009 when I had more hair and I was clearly much, much funnier.

No one ever calls me stud biscuit either.

Hammy and I have so much in common.

How To Think Like Hammy

Step 1:  Don’t think.

Step 2:  I said, STOP thinking.

Step 3:  Okay, you know that thing you’re doing with your brain? STOP DOING IT!!

Step 4:  Take a giant bite of a snow cone. Swallow.  BRAIN FREEZE!!

Step 5:  Let you mind wander.*

(*But remember to use a leash).

Occupy Suburbia: The Great Critter-American Migration

Heads up that next week is a vacation week of reruns and then we’ll get back to the Occupy Suburbia storyline on 11/7.  Normally, we wouldn’t break up a storyline like this, but T was off entertaining the troops in Afghanistan last week and it sort of played hell with our schedule.

I think he juggles.  Or maybe does impressions.

Huckleberry Hound.  Quick Draw McGraw.  That sort of thing.

Real cutting edge stuff.

Occupy Suburbia: Let Them Eat Pie

I half expect Gretchen Carlson from Fox and Friends to show up at Zucotti Park handing out cherry pies and saying, “Here’s your bigger slice of the pie.” Then she and Steve Doosy would giggle and they’d be the only ones laughing.

Except for the Koch brothers.

They think Tim Allen’s new show is funny.

 

Occupy Suburbia: Rachel Maddow Guest Stars

God, this drives me nuts.  T took his dull hatchet to the dialogue on this one without consulting me again.  Here’s the actual script:

On animals watching TV in kitchen

Inset:   Occupy Suburbia:  Day 4

Rachel/TV:   The Occupy protests have now spread to suburbia.

————-
On Rachel on screen standing in front of house.

Rachel:   In this ranch house behind me, a group of wild animals have taken up residence.   

RJ:   What wild animals?!

V:   Um… us?

—————-  
RJ texts as he talks.  

Rj:  I cream rinse my tail.  You exfoliate.  And Hammy forages for fun-yums.  

H:  Fun-Yummmmmmms

——-
On Rachel looking at her phone.  

Rachel:   Excuse me.  I stand corrected.  Inside, are a group of “Critter-Americans”.  

V (O.S.): Critter-Americans?

RJ (O.S.):    Shut up.  It polled well. 

“In this house, BEHIND ME…”  makes sense.  Take out “behind me” and you have no idea what house she’s talking about.   Not to mention, it  just sounds awkward and poorly written.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

(note:  The photo we used of Rachel looks crappy due to the half-tone manipulation for newspapers).

Occupy Suburbia: The Maraschino Cherry Connection

It’s true, Rachel Maddow considers herself something of a mixologist and has been known to enjoy a Manhattan or three.  Stands to reason that she’s developed a serious maraschino cherry addiction.

Despite that, Hammy still loves her.

Occupy Suburbia: The One Percent Solution

I love this punch line.

“Nice job, Mike,” he said to himself in a creepy self congratulatory way that revealed a disturbing degree of narcissism.

Occupy Suburbia: Too Cute To Fail

Have to give credit to T for, “Too Cute To Fail.”  Of course, in true Over the Hedge self-destructive fashion, you can barely read it.

If we’d just get out of our own way, this comic strip just might amount to something someday.

Moe Tater Spontaneous Combusts Leading Lumbering Gerbils Over Mighty Sloths

Apologies for the late post.   I always forget when I link to the blog.

Here’s the NCAA cream cheese story with a link for more.

Hoping to correct one of the NCAA rulebook’s great injustices, the Big East has proposed a rule change that could go into effect as soon as next August.
No, the conference isn’t pushing for more consistent penalties for programs guilty of major violations or a later early entry decision date for potential NBA draft prospects. The Big East simply wants to ensure its student-athletes no longer have to endure post-workout dry mouth as a result of eating complimentary bagels with no spread.
Proposal No. 2011-78 would permit institutions to offer spreads such as “butter, peanut butter, jelly and cream cheese” with bagels they already may provide to student-athletes at any time. It’s by far the most inane of the 91 potential rule changes the NCAA legislative council will have to consider next January.
Believe it or not, current NCAA legislation enacted in 2009 only allows schools to provide bagels, fruits and nuts to student-athletes, which means that a complimentary butter or jam packet would be a minor violation. Schools couldn’t provide athletes any food except energy bars prior to that rule change.

Click here for more.

The One With Giggling Dark Matter

Okay, here’s my theory:  Dark matter and dark energy are space itself.

We tend to think of the space between moons and planets and solar systems and galaxies as nothing.  But can it really be nothing?  Can light travel through nothing?

There’s an awful lot of space relative to stuff in the universe.  A LOT of space.  Couldn’t all that space have enough mass (or a mass-like property) to account for the missing gravity?

It’s true, the last physics class I took was in High School and I only got a B, but I like to think even the most scientifically naive of us can contribute.

“Damn it Jim!  I’m a cartoonist, not a physicist!”