Prometheus Wept

The problems with Prometheus are legion.  And better itemized by others.  It just astonishes me that a great director and couple really good writers (I’m not part of the Damon Lindelof of “Lost” fame lynch mob) could go so wrong.   My only guess is that they ran out of time to fix the egregious plot black holes and the head scratching WTF moments.

I leave you with my favorite “sacrifice logic for gratuitous gore” moment.

Two scientists, lost and completely freaked out, retreat to the main Engineer ballroom.  There they encounter some sort of phallic/vaginal have-we-left-out-any-genital-imagery snake/serpenty thing.   So, what do they do?

They poke it.  No, seriously.  They poke it.  Why?  Who the hell knows.  Guess what happens next…

Scientist splatter.  Red goo city.   Stupid, stupid scientists.

It’s quite an accomplishment when by the end the filmmakers have you rooting for the monsters to win.

Congratulations, Ridley.

 

 

Top 5 Uses For a Squid Spleen

5.  Good Source of Vitamin A in case you have Night Blindness or have a real hard time swallowing pills.

4.  Cat nip for Vampires.

3.  In many cultures the gift of a dried squid spleen is considered a proposal of plural marriage.

2.  When Popeye would run out of spinach, he’d substitute with squid spleens.  If he couldn’t find any HGH.

1.  Since squid spleens don’t really exist, their only real use is as a mildly amusing alliterative gag in modestly successful comic strips featuring an OCD turtle.

The One Where We Sacrifice History For a Joke

Yeah, I got it wrong.  In colonial America witches floated.  Non witches  sunk… and mostly drowned (which tended to shut down on the counter suits for slander).  But Verne can’t sink, so I purposefully (I swear in retrospect) fudged history for the sake of a gag.

It’s my comic strip and I’ll make stuff up if I want to.

Verne Agonistes

Verne suffers so others may laugh.

“Comedy is not pretty.”  -  Steve Martin

 

 

 

Thank you, Bob

Do you ever wonder about the first person who said, “Check out this milk I stored in a cow’s stomach.  It’s all clumpy. I think I’ll separate the clumpy parts from the watery parts, add some salt, press the result into a mold and let it sit for a few days, weeks, months or years and then eat it.”?

It’s probably the same person who said, “I’ll let this barely germinate a little, but not too much, then roll it a little, but not too much, then soak the rolled barely in hot water to release the sugars, then add some hops for flavor and boil the result for a little while, but not too long, then cool what’s left  a little, but not too much, then add yeast, then let sit for a few weeks, but not too many, then filter the result and drink it (a little, but not too much).

I’m going to say his name was Bob.

Thank you, Bob.

 

 

Cheesepocalyse Now

A world without cheese is like a day without an obscure meandering comic strip staring a cast of talking self-absorbed animals.

With thumbs.

And pockets.

And issues.

Hammigami

Mo’ beta’ meta!

Nicely done by T.   That venti chi latte is bigger than RJ’s head.

The One That Will Make Sense After I Explain It

Pay attention.  There will be a test at the end for 20% of your grade.

1.  Future Verne goes back in time 11 days to just BEFORE future RJ, Hammy and Larry arrive back.

2.  He meets past RJ, Hammy, Larry AND PAST VERNE (T left this part out).

3.  Future Verne continues in time machine to ANYWHERE in time.

4.  Future Verne destroys time machine.

Now there are TWO Vernes annoying (and apparently being worshiped by) others in two different time lines.

Make sense?  No?

Me either.

“Wibbly Wobbly Time-y Wimey Stuff”

“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint – it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly… time-y wimey… stuff.”
― Steven Moffat, writer, executive producer of “Dr. Who”

“His older self had taught his younger self a language which the older self knew because the younger self, after being taught, grew up to be the older self and was, therefore, capable of teaching.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

Physicists often quote from T. H. White’s epic novel The Once and Future King, where a society of ants declares, “Everything not forbidden is compulsory.” In other words, if there isn’t a basic principle of physics forbidding time travel, then time travel is necessarily a physical possibility. (The reason for this is the uncertainty principle. Unless something is forbidden, quantum effects and fluctuations will eventually make it possible if we wait long enough. Thus, unless there is a law forbidding it, it will eventually occur.)

— Michio Kaku

Scotch and Mescaline and Time Travel, Oh My!

So they need to go back to the future so they can move ahead to the past?

Or are they going back to the past so they never go in the future so they’ll never have to go back to the future so they can move ahead to the past?

This all made sense when I wrote it.

High on scotch and mescaline.