Shangri-oo-la-la!

For Immediate Occupancy:  Spank your inner Lady Gaga with this stunning turreted Tudor and Beach themed hideaway with flaming moat/s’mores grill, worker’s quarters, master of her domain bedroom with spacious walk-in dungeon. Includes miles of hidden passageways for easy escapes and/or coordinated attacks on invading suburbanites.   Builder terms available.  Not a foreclosure.

Yet.

Plot Threads R Us

Some wag over at comics.com said that Discarded Plot Threads box should be a lot bigger.

Actually, the box opens into a secret underground storage facility the size of Manhattan.  An army of of blind, hairless mice catalog tens of thousands of errant, hopeless, dead-end, nonsensical, profane and ridiculously complicated plot threads.   From Vlad Raptor’s Attractiveness Deficit Disorder Seminars to Verne Crashes Obama’s Inauguration In Hopes of Becoming First Pet.   It’s a treasure trove of misguided notions and last-second-on-deadline-non sequiturs.  And an Ant Farm.

Thanks, hairless, blind mice for a job well done.  Now back to work, before I ship the whole operation to Bangalore.*

*I’ve found that hairless, blind mice respond well to veiled threats of outsourcing.

Lady Za Za

El Rancho Camelot is the place to be.
Suburban livin’ is the life for me.
Minivans spreadin’ out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that TV Guide.

New York is where I’d thought I’d stay.
But I’m allergic to the Great White Way.
I just adore a tract house view.
Dah-ling I love this you can have Park Avenue.

…Walmart!
…Golf carts!
…Twinkies!
…No extended pinkies!

Hello, mild-life!
Good bye, city life.
Suburbia we are here!