Eleventy Jillion Is Officially A Lot

E-bay’s cut of Eleventy Jillion is a LOT too!

The Birds and the Bees… and Hammy

This is as close to a “dirty” joke as we can get in family newspapers. 

The Genetically Reengineered Hammy of the Future

FYI, we don’t color the daily version of Hedge. If we did we wouldn’t put black dialogue against a dark blue (on my laptop screen) background.

I promise. We wouldn’t.

Contrary to popular opinion we really do want you to be able to read the strip.

We really do.

I promise.

Rest In Pain

Is this is our Game of Thrones moment where we casually kill off the two main characters?

Maybe.

Probably not.

But you never know.

But you know.

Or do you?

<cue demonic snicker>

Zombie Breath

Do zombies brush their teeth? Do they need to? After all, they’re past the point of worrying about tooth decay. And besides, isn’t a minty-fresh zombie a contradiction in terms?

Welcome to my ADD addled brain at noon on Wednesday.  Watch your step. Wipe your feet and no, nobody here knows your name.

The One Where We Draft Off Adventure Time

I’ve only seen Adventure Time on Cartoon Network a couple times, but it’s terrific.  It has a real Monty Python for kids (of all ages) feel.  It zigs when you think it’s going to zag.  It’s really hard these days to subvert viewers expectations and Adventure Time seems to do it with every episode.

Pet Names For Hammy (In Order of Absurdity)

I have no idea what endoskeletal goo-gurt is.  Sounds vaguely icky.  Probably doesn’t stay crunchy in milk either.

Bleah!

The Dimes They Are A Changing

We put our daughters through .000018th of college with the change from our couch.

It’s true.

The One With Boog Bloodlust

I played hockey for five years as a kid (from 7-12). My only memories are getting the wind knocked out me once, being offsides while everyone stopped and yelled at me to get back behind the line and scoring two goals (one for my team and one for the other).

Five years. Probably 100 games.  And that’s all I remember.

Thank, God.

The Queen Was Not Pleased

Verne’s sure traveled a lot more than I have.  Doesn’t seem fair.