Tag Archives: Clint Eastwood

The Suggestions of Physics

We’ve done several “universal remote” gags over the years. Way before that forgettable Adam Sandler movie. We were fast forwarding and rewinding time and space before it was cool. And after. And now that it’s cool again.*

This reminds me of the time we got our first DVR and we were watching live TV and one of my daughters (she was pretty young at the time) asked why we couldn’t skip through the commercials. I said, “Because they haven’t happened yet. We can’t fast forward into the future.”

It’s a funny story and we still tease her about it, but the truth is we live in a time shifted culture where past, present and future get jumbled up into a squishy reality where one night Clint Eastwood talks to an empty chair…

The next night the empty chair talks back…

And now Clint is set to remake Every Which Way But Loose staring opposite the empty chair.**

If you missed Clint live, you can rewind and re-watch or just skip the actual event and fast forward to events that never took place or may take place in an alternate reality of your choosing.***

Maybe as RJ and Hammy imply, the laws of physics really are just suggestions.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn’t have to wait so long
And wouldn’t it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong.****

*Because I say so

**Should be true, but isn’t.

***Not the one where Clint and the empty chair remake Unforgiven.  That would be wrong.

****Where you can fast forward through commercials that haven’t happened yet.

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Never Let Your Dramatic License Expire

Please, before it’s too late, go down to the DAV (Department of Artistic Vehicles), stand in line, be patient when you get to the head of the line and six out ten clerks go on break and get your Dramatic License renewed.

Remember, operating an artistic vehicle without a license is punishable by a fine and/or not more than three days hard labor watching the last seven Adam Sandler movies on a continuous loop.

That is all.

 

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The One With the Star of the Best Country-Western Orangutan Movie Ever Made

It takes a special kind of actor to star opposite an ape. It takes someone who is very secure, realizes they’ll be upstaged and knows if the thing tanks he can always make another Dirty Harry movie.

But it didn’t tank.  Every Which Way But Loose is Eastwood’s 6th highest domestic grossing film ($85 million in 1978).  I vaguely remember it.  But I do remember enjoying it.

Also, it’s one of Hugh Grant’s four favorite films.

So there’s that.

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The One Where Clint Eastwood Threatens Verne

See where T drew Clint with a shovel butt?

For T’s sake, I Hope Clint didn’t.

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Lucky Punks

The Super Bowl Clint Eastwood Chrysler ad was fascinating for a couple of odd contradictory reasons.  First, Chrysler wouldn’t exist without your and my tax dollars (and Fiat).  And second, Eastwood, a republican, is almost the living personification of  American individualism.

What was Eastwood trying to say?  It sounded to me like the message was if we work together we can do anything.  We can even save a car company that produced the 2002 Dodge Stratus that has a tendency to lose it’s front bumper every time it bottoms out on a steep driveway (full disclosure: my daughter drives one and I’ve reattached that bumper many times).

I happen to think it was probably a good thing that we saved Chrysler (despite the bumper, the Stratus has been pretty reliable).  America is both a land of opportunity and second halves.  And second (third, forth, fifth) chances.  We will come roaring back.

But not without help.

Back in the 70’s, Eastwood played a rogue cop that pointed a Smith & Wesson at a suspect and said, “…ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do you punk?”  A couple of years ago he played a misanthrope retired auto worker who overcame his prejudices to help his immigrant Hmong neighbors survive in modern day Detroit.

Clint’s evolved.  And I think so have we.  Do I feel lucky to live in a country that is slowly, grudgingly, ever-so-reluctantly starting to realize we’re not at our best when we’re  just collection of loose cannons firing randomly in the dark?

Yeah, I do.

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