Tag Archives: fire ants

This Old Sponge Brick

oh130511Glad to see Queen Ida back for a brief reappearance. I missed her. You know, in the way you miss a bad cold or head lice or shingles.

Her hat’s cool though.

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Attack of the Fashionistas

For those of you living in northern climes (or foreign climes),  the bite of a sartorially enraged fire ant is nothing to sneeze at.  It ?!@#^!! hurts!  And then it itches like hell and then it gets all pustular and then it erupts (after you scratch it, because it still ?!@$$!! itches like hell) and then as you can see below YOU’RE SCARED FOR LIFE!

On second thought, that tiny scar might have been from when I accidentally jabbed myself with a pencil after a particularly angry Angry Birds session.

Never mind.

 

 

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The One With the Tiny Elephant

Over the Hedge

Sometimes our comic makes sense.  And sometimes it takes a u-turn loop-da-loop to WTF-town.

Clearly I was drinking when I wrote this.

The elephant is cute though.

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Chain Saw Diplomacy

Over the Hedge

Chain saw wielding fire ants led by a drag queen.

Over the Hedge:  Writing ourselves out on the slimmest thread of a  limb since 1995

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Lady Za Za

Over the Hedge

El Rancho Camelot is the place to be.
Suburban livin’ is the life for me.
Minivans spreadin’ out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that TV Guide.

New York is where I’d thought I’d stay.
But I’m allergic to the Great White Way.
I just adore a tract house view.
Dah-ling I love this you can have Park Avenue.

…Walmart!
…Golf carts!
…Twinkies!
…No extended pinkies!

Hello, mild-life!
Good bye, city life.
Suburbia we are here!

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For She’s a Jolly Good Fire Ant Drag Queen…

Over the Hedge

I’ve actually been to Bentonville and met with WalMart excutives about RingTales back when we were first getting started.  We were trying to get our animations on their in store TV network.  We didn’t succeed, but it was worth going for the experience of seeing one of the largest corporations in the world up close.   My take away was that they were trying awfully hard to pretend they weren’t one of the largest corporations in the world.  The culture had,  “an authoritative lack of pretentiousness.”  As though each executive was wired with a device that shocked them if they spent more than $15 on a haircut or wore anything other than a suit from Men’s Warehouse (even Walmart doesn’t expect its execs to shop at WalMart).

But that was five years ago.  I suspect things have changed.  WalMart is sporting quite a green facade these days.   They build more energy efficient stores.  They recently mandated a significant reduction in packaging materials from their suppliers.   And they’ve dropped the hyphen in their name.  That single hyphen in all WalMart advertisment and promotional materials saves 76,000 trees each year.

Not really.  I just made that tree saving thing up.   But it probably saves a few trees.  And that’s a good thing.  I guess.

WalMart isn’t the worst thing in the world.  It saves a lot of people a lot of money on stuff they need and they think they need.  I just wish they’d open more checkout stands and keep the Over the Hedge DVD out of the bargain bin.

Yeah, that’s me at the Buda, TX store that keeps swapping price tags between the Hedge DVD and the Cars DVD.   I don’t make any more royalties, I just really didn’t like Cars.

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Top 5 Reasons Walmart Never Has Enough Checkout Aisles Open

Over the Hedge

5.  Checker shortage due to alien abductions of low-skilled labor to work in their unobtanium mines.

4.  If no one had to wait, no one would ever buy the five pound bags of Skittles that line the checkout aisles.

3.  Travis, the manager, really, really regrets his liberal arts degree and he’s taking it out on you.

2.  They were going to man every checkout aisle with trained lemurs, but the lemurs unionized.  No more lemurs.

1.  No pain, no Gain*

*Gain Hawaiian Aloha Detergent With Febreze Freshness:  $14.97

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The One Where Middle-Unibrow Hipster Fire Ants Invade Wal-Mart

Over the Hedge

Mea culpa.  Mea culpa.  Mea idiot.

The link is wrong and I, once again, forgot about the Frieda link-back thing.  I will post something momentarily.

Sheesh.

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Fire Ants With Chainsaws

Over the Hedge

Fire ants. Wal-Mart.  Drag Queen.  Chainsaws. Todd, the nonjudgmental greeter.

What could possibly go wrong?

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Queen Izzy, Long May She Flame

Over the Hedge

For all the victimization, Verne can be a cruel little turtle.

Queen up on Aisle 9!

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