Killer Irony

I think this is the second time we’ve killed RJ. I think. Verne shot him once. But maybe he didn’t die that time. A couple years ago I vaguely remember him going to vet for some reason. He might have died. I don’t remember.

Someone should inventory these things.  Not me, of course. I have more important things to do. Like, repeatedly killing one of our main characters because I forgot I’d maybe already done it before.

Writing a comic strip is harder than it looks.

Or maybe I just make it hard.

Lord of the Snacks

Smackeeze: the first bag is free.

Today’s Lesson: Cheese Dust Silos Will Kill You

I’m imagining Smacky had a serious cheese dust problem that did not respond to repeated visits to rehab.

Another spokes meerkat lost to substance abuse.

When will the madness end?

Top 5 Reasons Not to Eat Verne

5.  Does not stay crunchy in milk.

4.  Does not come with sprinkles.

3.  Contains absolutely no high-fructose corn syrup.

2.  Nacho cheese dust doesn’t wash off.

1.  Absolutely, 100%, guaranteed does NOT taste like chicken.

 

The One With Elvis In a Coma

Elvis says, “Hi.” He’s doing just fine as a hallucinatory side-effect from a Twinkie overdose.

And he just looks great.

Four out of Five high fructose corn syrup addicts prefer the younger bloat-less Elvis over the Other Brand.

Since my life has left me
I’ve found a new place to dwell
You can find me rockin’ RJ’s head
At the Insulin Resistant Hotel

 

Sad Ice Cream

Apologies for the super late post.  Drove 13 hours from Austin to St. Louis on way to a wedding tomorrow in Chicago.  I intended to stop and post, but there’s really not a lot of Starbuck’s hot spots in eastern Oklahoma or southern Missouri.  Seriously.  Like, none.

Anyway, today’s cartoon made me laugh.

I hope it made you laugh too.

 

 

Stop All Lab Testing on Turtles*

I’m going to get on my soap box and take a stand against using turtles to test cooperation in raccoons.  It’s inhumane.  It’s cruel.  And it only serves to perpetuate the stereotype of turtles as second banana straight reptiles who always suffer the butt-end of a joke.

It’s just plain wrong and we should stop it.

*Some day.

Not today.

Let Him Eat Cake

I don’t have much to say about today’s cartoon other than the piece of cake and spoon should have been drawn much larger.

Exaggeration being, of course, the…

Woopee Cushion of wit.

RJ’s Top Five Favorite Foods

5.  Twinkies.

4.  Twinkies dipped in maraschino cherry juice

3.  Twinkies dipped in maraschino cherry juice and covered with Karo syrup.

2.  Twinkies dipped in maraschino cherry juice, covered with Karo syrup and sprinkled with Super Sugar Crisps dust.

1.  Insulin.*

*Lil’ Jack’s Snack Insulin.  Extreme snack?  Pack only Lil Jack’s.  Now in the 3 liter convenience jug.**

**For use only  in the Lil’ Jack’s heavy duty “whisper quiet” insulin pump.

Pain: Twinkies for the Soul

Like RJ, I think we all quiet the pain of being ourselves in one way or another.  Some with food, drugs and alcohol, sex, exercise, work, whatever.  Some with good works, self-improvement, building businesses, public service, whatever.  But what about the pain itself?  Is it inevitable.  Is anyone out there pain free?  Can anyone ever really be pain free?

Being human is a painful condition.  It’s a joyful condition too.  But not as often as it’s a painful one. If you think about your whole life, you spend a great deal of time being unsatisfied.  But this is a good thing.  Dissatisfaction can lead to innovation, progress, growth.   No pain, no gain.  Simple. Cliche.  Trite.

But what this really means in practice is that we can never be truly satisfied.  To be truly satisfied would mean that we don’t progress.  We don’t innovate.  We don’t grow.  We stop.

We can’t be satisfied without being unsatisfied first.  But to be satisfied, means we stop being unsatisfied, which shuts off the only way to become even more satisfied.  So, it’s all futile, right?  There’s no point in trying because we’re all running in place, right?

Wrong.  We can achieve satisfaction.  Just not for very long.  Satisfaction is and should be transitory.  It has to be.  Just as dissatisfaction has to be our default setting.

This is why I don’t believe in heaven.  Heaven, as I understand it, is some sort of perfect place where you hang out and, I guess, be happy all day long.  That just sounds really boring to me.   And don’t get me started about having to hang out with my dead relatives.

But Wait.  Hanging out with dead relatives would make me so unsatisfied that it would motivate me to what?  Become more satisfied by moving to a place far away that would way better than heaven.   What place would be way better than heaven?

Right here. Right now.  Struggling to be better.  Not best.  Just better.

Pain is good.

Pain:  Twinkies for the soul.