Oh, wait. Hammy has something for everyone too…
INCOMING AIR HUG!
Hammy is my hero and I shall not want.
He maketh me stop and smell the Twinkies, he leadeth me to pick out squid shapes in the clouds.
Yea, thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of suburbia, I will fear no angst, for Hammy art with me, thy thumbs and thy fuzzy milk duds they comfort me.
Hammy preparest a feast of Macaroni and Cheese dust in the presence of mine critics, thou filllest my head with silliness; my smile runneth wide.
Surely a toasty-cozy warm buzz will follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the hug of Hammy for ever.
My own theory for the disappearance of the dinosaurs is chronic lack of affection. Dinosaurs are reptiles and reptile parents do not hug their children. Would you? Of course not. They’re scaly and moldy and they linger inappropriately.
Over millions of years this lack of basic warmth caused their hearts to grow icy and spiky. When the mammals showed up with their excellent grasp of self regulating temperature control and cute, HUG-ABLE, furry bodies, the dinosaurs couldn’t take it. Mammal envy caused their frozen hearts to crack resulting in the first successful species to die off of – wait for it….
…a broken heart.