Global Warming = Local Cooling

You’re probably wondering what happened to Verne’s shell air-conditioning?

The truth is I wrote this Sunday before I wrote the shell ones, but because of much longer Sunday lead times, the shell ones appeared first.

Probably.

 

Wanted: Tickle-Neutral Valet To Remove Belly-Button Lint

Notice the butler is adding an additional valet. Verne’s other valets* include a:

Mold and mildew scrubber
Toenail clipper
Toenail clipper sharpener
Self-esteem booster
Self-esteem booster’s booster
Sock ironer

*partial list

Dogs (and a Turtle) Playing Poker

I got some interesting responses to my blog post question about whether we should reveal the actual interior design of  Verne’s shell.  A couple were so good I was tempted to steal them.

The responses were split down the middle between show me and let me use my own imagination.   Although I imagine some sort of cross between Martha Stewart and a Bond villian lair, I respect the your right to imagine whatever you want.

For now at least, we’ll leave this particular shell unexamined.

Verne deserves at least some privacy don’t you think?

Verne’s Tardis

We’ve used the Verne’s-shell-is-bigger-on-the-inside-than-on-the-outside-thing-sparingly-over the years.  It’s a well worn visual gag – from Dr. Who’s Tardis to Snoopy’s Dog House to many Looney Tunes cartoons.

It’s funny, which is why it persists.  But it’s easy.

Having said that, I do wonder what wonders Verne has in that shell.  Generally, this joke is down off-screen in the reader/viewers imagination.  But what if went inside and showed you?

I’m not sure it’s worthwhile.  Maybe it needs a twist.

What do you think?

Top Five Reasons Tattoos Are a Bad Idea

Top Five Reasons Tattoos Are a Bad Idea

5.  A flaming vampire hamster on your back does not distract from your acne scars.

4.  “Bob Forever” is very difficult to change into “Bogoslav Forever”

3.  That Chinese character on your ankle actually means, “Toenail Merchant”

2.  In 2054 when your butt sags to your knees, those Rolling Stone lips will look like a clown vagina.

1.  They make God sad.

Top Five Things You Should Never Wear Under a Utilikilt

Top Five Things You Should Never Wear Under a Utilikilt

5.   He-Man Briefs (Size: Husky).

4.   The Bat Thong.

3.   Depends.

2.   A Full Moon.

1.   Delusions of Grandeur.

The Tramps in Apartment 3G

Top  Five Trampy Things the Girls in Apartment 3G Do:

5.  Use each other’s lip glossed lips as a mirror.

4.  Carry hand stamps with their phone numbers on it.

3.  Fake tattoo eyebrows

2.  Wear pajama jeans with crocs after Labor Day

1.  Sleep with Rex Morgan MD*

*(all of them).

National Crazy Awareness Day

You’re not alone.

I declare today National Crazy Awareness Day.  Today we recognize what we all know to be true.  You, me and that seemingly normal lady sipping a latte at the table next to you are certifiably crazy (she harbors a secret wish to immersed in a vat of pickle relish (dill).  It’s true!).

By becoming one with our secret insanities, we can let go of our endless obsession with appearing normal and accept ourselves and our fellow men and women for the nut jobs they truly are.  Imagine a world where everyone is free to admit their grasp on reality is more of a distant wave from a fast moving clown car headed straight for Whackedville.  Out yourself today.  Don’t wait.  Open the window.  Throw back the shutters and scream, “I can’t stop tickling penguins!”

I’m right behind you.

The One With the Tiny Elephant

Sometimes our comic makes sense.  And sometimes it takes a u-turn loop-da-loop to WTF-town.

Clearly I was drinking when I wrote this.

The elephant is cute though.

Fire Ant Moulin Rouge

Verne’s shell was supposed to be converted into a fire ant Moulin Rogue. With a sign that says, you know: Moulin Rogue.  I guess T thought it would be obvious?   I’ve got to get ahead and get us back to doing roughs.

I like Verne’ dressed ironically in a box of Lucky Charms (the real definition of irony not the Alanis Morissette one).