Thumbs are Funny

An anthropomorphic comic strip without thumbs is like a Road Runner cartoon with consistent gravity.  You can do it, but it’s not very entertaining.

Just saying.

Monsters Ick

Monsters have a stressful life that can result in gastrointestinal distress.  For example, children’s toes are not easily digested.  They may look like sweet, fat little marshmallows, but in reality they go down like leaden hush puppies.

 

Zombie Leaves: Better Than Terra Nova

Terra Nova’s not awful.  It’s just dumb downed sci-fi.

The Jurassic Dawson’s Creek teenage angst stuff feels like a Fox executive’s note.  The Avatar actor who plays the leader is such a cartoon.

But I have to admit the Sixer subplot is intriguing.  Keeps me watching.

One question:  did they ever explain why being in the past isn’t changing the future?  Are they on a different time line or something?

Top 5 Things Don Draper Would Do That Keith Richards Would Never Do

5.  Brush his teeth with vodka while smoking.

4.  Drive drunk wearing no seat belt while eating prime rib off the chest of a stewardess.

3.  Let his kids play “Air Lock” with clear plastic dry-cleaner bags.

2.  Pitch gin flavored candy cigarettes to children.

1.  Hope he dies before he gets old.

Pants Optional

I asked my wife if we could put in a stripper pole in our bedroom.   She liked the idea, but made it clear she wasn’t picking up any clothes I took off.

<cue rim shot>.

New Fall Season: Seal of Approval

Yeah,  I know… if you want to stop kids from crying you don’t hit them with tear gas.  My bad.

Although, in my defense, my options were limited.

1. Stun grenade?  No.

2. Rubber bullets?  No.

3. Seal  attack dog?  No.

2.  Tactical nukes?  No.

1.  Blasting Black Sabbeth like they did to Noriega?  Hell, no!

A Whiff of Velveeta and Resignation

I’ve always said you can’t have enough fire ant drag queens in your comic strip and now I’ve put the character where my mouth is.

Or something like that.

Over the Hedge:  An Equal Opportunity Offender Since 1995.

 

 

Pinklahoma

El Rancho Camelot is the name of the suburb where Over the Hedge takes place.  Runner-up names were:

Walden’s Gulag
Presidio Dada
Lots of Shame
Cheeverwood
The Dales of Doom

You might guess I don’t live in the suburbs.

Jack update:  Holding his own.  The bruising has traveled all the way to his back legs.   But the overall swelling seems to have slowed to a stop.