Top 5 Reasons Eskimos Always Kick Alien Butt in Thumb Wrestling
5. Eskimos slather thumbs with slippery seal blubber.
4. Aliens especially vulnerable to depression from Seasonal Affected Disorder rendering them into whiny, pathetic puddles of frozen green goo.
3. Eskimo’s train with polar bears (thumb vs. paw).
2. Alien thumbs all wiggly.
1. Green alien blood freezes at -5°F