How to Lose Weight

Eat less.  Exercise more.  There’s really nothing more to it.   I’ve lost 7 lbs. since the first of the year (20 more to go).  It’s really hard.  It’s not fun.  It totally sucks.   But I have to do it because I love my wife and she teaches weight management classes for the medically obese and I learned long ago that life is so much simpler when I do what she tells me to do.

I will not give up the beer, though.  Or breakfast tacos.  Or Bluebell Old-fashioned Vanilla ice cream with Triple Sec liquor (left over margarita fixings).  Or a once every two or three months prime New York strip at Bordeaux’s in downtown Kyle, TX.   Or the once a month mole chicken enchiladas at Trudy’s.   Or my once a month famous slow-cooked, smoked baby-backed ribs with the super-secret rub and The Salt Lick’s original BBQ sauce.

Eat less.  Exercise more.  Listen to your wife.  Savor your treats.

It should only take another ten years to lose the other twenty pounds.

Migration

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Another nice RingTales Hedge animation on Babelgum.  Please be patient through the video ads.  They pay the bills.

The Weird Thing

We’ve really got to stop picking on Verne.  One of these days.  Tomorrow. Next week.  Next month.  Next year.

Soon.  Really soon.

No Dreams May Come

If there really are infinite parallel universes then there’s at least one where Twinkies don’t exist.

Hell by any other name.

Hugs: They’re Everywhere You Want to Be

Off to the National Cartoonist Society convention today in Jersey City to shoot interviews of some of our RingTales cartoonists before they get too drunk to stand.

Or after they’re too drunk to stand.   We’ll see how it goes.

Eau de Mildew

On the road to NYC today.  No time to blog.  Plenty of time to abuse Verne, though.

Sleep, Eat, Repeat

American Idol.

Yeah, I know.  Collective groans all around for this pantheon of pop pablum.   But, you know, this year was different.  This year had Crystal and Siobhan and Lilly.   Poor Lilly, who had the temerity to be herself.  Siobhan, the nerdy-screamer, was a waif with the voice of a perfect pitch air-raid siren.   And Crystal, the busker from Ohio, who IMHO is the second-coming of Janis Joplin without all the drugs, booze and, you know, death issues.

Crystal’s really, really good.  Her voice is amazing.  And she knows who she is.  She completely buried Lee last night.  And that’s exactly why she won’t win.   The tween girl demo will not vote for  a folky, bluesy, portly, dreadlocked mama who refuses to wear eyeliner.  It would be like voting for the 7th grade exchange student from Moldovia.   Ain’t gonna happen.

I predict Crystal will have a much longer and happier career than Lee.   Lee looks like a future reality show contestant on, “Help Me! I’m a D-list Celebrity and I Have To Eat Slugs To Pay Alimony!”

I hope I’m wrong.  But I doubt it.

How Steve Jobs Beat Cancer

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A Death sock puppet is funny.   I’m just saying.

Giant Squid Yogurt Wrestling

In all multiverses Hammy is the universal constant.

I Can Be a Shark

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I read somewhere that this is what Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert, does every morning.