Monthly Archives: June 2010

I’m Here All Week, Try the Brains

Over the Hedge

It’s hard to mix horror and comedy.  You usually end up with blood splattered all over your comedy.  Shaun of the Dead is a good effort, but it’s really way more comedy than horror.  I think the best attempts have been on TV: Dexter and True Blood.  Dexter is the funniest serial killer ever.  His unique, gruesome POV in voice over is often hysterical, “What’s that?  You’d like a little off the top?”   True Blood (when it’s not playing head twister) has had some great satire AND site gags (Is there a braver actor than the one playing Sam’s real dad wearing only a beer and those disgusting soiled jockey shorts?).

I don’t have anywhere else to go with this and I have dozens of cartoons to animate.  So, I’m just going to stop writing now.  I mean, now.  No, now.  Now.

NOW!

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Happy Hour of the Living Dead

Over the Hedge

T forgot the SNAP SFX between the second and third panel.  That would SO have made this WAY funnier.  You just can’t do detached zombie limb comedy without a SNAP SFX.

It’s true.

Everybody says so.

Really.

Everybody.

Okay, me.

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What’s Wrong with Movies Today

Saw this comment from “DK” on a weekend box office recap story on Deadline.com.   I thought he/she perfectly summed up the movie business this summer.   My favorite line, “We really don’t have the money to go and gamble on whether or not Knight & Day might be “pretty entertaining.” A dime-sack is pretty entertaining, too.”

“No one in the 14-25 demographic is going to the movies, but don’t blame us for all this lackluster performance: We don’t have any money! Downsizing comes down the hardest on retailers, so it’s a little hard for me to go splurging on these outrageous ticket prices when I don’t even work forty hours a week delivering pizza.

The last straw for me was Alice in Wonderland: Me and my friends were all fired up to see it, and even though we weren’t making much, we somehow mustered the $14 a pop required for IMAX seating and took the long drive from our rural town to the theater, not to mention the joint we smoked before the movie. And what happened? The movie sucked, that’s what happened: Totally squandered all of its thematic and 3-D potential.

I didn’t see another movie until Kick-Ass, and most of my friends stayed home for that one, waiting for Nightmare on Elm Street. You see how this works? We really don’t have the money to go and gamble on whether or not Knight & Day might be “pretty entertaining.” A dime-sack is pretty entertaining, too.

Seriously, I’m waiting in line for my ticket and I look at the admission fees: Most theaters around here are pushing ten bucks for a matinee! Are we going to the movies or boarding a train? Remember when eight bucks for a night show was considered steep?

We did end up seeing Toy Story, though… if you create something that’s genuinely damn good, it will attract patrons, period. Not just semi-good, ala Knight & Day, or pretty good, ala Get Him to the Greek, or something debatable like Shrek Forever After. Make a great movie and it will eventually find its audience.

The music industry is supposedly dead, right? Well, earlier this week, I marched my broke ass to Best Buy and picked up Recovery, the first CD I’ve purchased in a really long time. Great album, by the way: Just the kind of creative adrenaline this washed-up industries need. Same for film with Toy Story 3.”

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True Brains

Over the Hedge

Vampires are so over.  That whole head twister sex thing on True Blood last night iced it.  I like True Blood, but there was a Sea World of shark jumping going on in that scene.  Don’t make me.  I made you.  I hate you.  I love you.  I have no choice so, I’ll twist your head around backwards so I don’t have to look it while I’m involuntarily banging you.  Huh?

You know what will put True Blood back on track?  Zombies.  Zombies will restore the balance of supernatural power in Bon Ton.   I want to see that Mississippi King command an army of werewolves and vampires vs. an army of zombies.   I want to see  zombies storming the shores of Gulf Port.   I want to see Jackson in flames as a zombie General Sherman marches to the sea.  I mean if you’re going to jump the shark, let’s put a ram jet on the thing and shoot it into orbit.

Zombie space sharks.  Now that would be awesome.

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Spork Dork

Over the Hedge

Tighty-whities look ridiculous on any guy older than four. Boxers are just not serious underwear.  The boys deserve our support.   That leaves boxer-briefs.   Sure, they’re like bike shorts with a handy outtake vent, but if you’re caught in a bank robbery and forced to strip to your underwear you’ll only look slightly less silly than the 300 pound guy in the baby banana hammock*.  Just one less delusional paranoid fear to worry about?

Over the Hedge:  Rationalizing crazy shit since 1995

*A tip-o-the-pen to Stephan Pastis, creator of  the comic Pearls Before Swine whose editor wouldn’t let him use “banana hammock” in his strip last week.  Remember, amateurs borrow.  Professionals steal.

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Sapstick (sic)

Over the Hedge

I think the world might line up for a Hammy hug.  I know I would.

We now return to our regualr ascerbic snarkfest in 5…4…3….2….1….

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Spanx the Monkey

Over the Hedge

Let’s just forget about this week, okay?   Except for the biker bunny slippers.  Wish we could merch those.

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