Monthly Archives: June 2010

I’m Here All Week, Try the Brains

Over the Hedge

It’s hard to mix horror and comedy.  You usually end up with blood splattered all over your comedy.  Shaun of the Dead is a good effort, but it’s really way more comedy than horror.  I think the best attempts have been on TV: Dexter and True Blood.  Dexter is the funniest serial killer ever.  His unique, gruesome POV in voice over is often hysterical, “What’s that?  You’d like a little off the top?”   True Blood (when it’s not playing head twister) has had some great satire AND site gags (Is there a braver actor than the one playing Sam’s real dad wearing only a beer and those disgusting soiled jockey shorts?).

I don’t have anywhere else to go with this and I have dozens of cartoons to animate.  So, I’m just going to stop writing now.  I mean, now.  No, now.  Now.

NOW!

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Happy Hour of the Living Dead

Over the Hedge

T forgot the SNAP SFX between the second and third panel.  That would SO have made this WAY funnier.  You just can’t do detached zombie limb comedy without a SNAP SFX.

It’s true.

Everybody says so.

Really.

Everybody.

Okay, me.

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What’s Wrong with Movies Today

Saw this comment from “DK” on a weekend box office recap story on Deadline.com.   I thought he/she perfectly summed up the movie business this summer.   My favorite line, “We really don’t have the money to go and gamble on whether or not Knight & Day might be “pretty entertaining.” A dime-sack is pretty entertaining, too.”

“No one in the 14-25 demographic is going to the movies, but don’t blame us for all this lackluster performance: We don’t have any money! Downsizing comes down the hardest on retailers, so it’s a little hard for me to go splurging on these outrageous ticket prices when I don’t even work forty hours a week delivering pizza.

The last straw for me was Alice in Wonderland: Me and my friends were all fired up to see it, and even though we weren’t making much, we somehow mustered the $14 a pop required for IMAX seating and took the long drive from our rural town to the theater, not to mention the joint we smoked before the movie. And what happened? The movie sucked, that’s what happened: Totally squandered all of its thematic and 3-D potential.

I didn’t see another movie until Kick-Ass, and most of my friends stayed home for that one, waiting for Nightmare on Elm Street. You see how this works? We really don’t have the money to go and gamble on whether or not Knight & Day might be “pretty entertaining.” A dime-sack is pretty entertaining, too.

Seriously, I’m waiting in line for my ticket and I look at the admission fees: Most theaters around here are pushing ten bucks for a matinee! Are we going to the movies or boarding a train? Remember when eight bucks for a night show was considered steep?

We did end up seeing Toy Story, though… if you create something that’s genuinely damn good, it will attract patrons, period. Not just semi-good, ala Knight & Day, or pretty good, ala Get Him to the Greek, or something debatable like Shrek Forever After. Make a great movie and it will eventually find its audience.

The music industry is supposedly dead, right? Well, earlier this week, I marched my broke ass to Best Buy and picked up Recovery, the first CD I’ve purchased in a really long time. Great album, by the way: Just the kind of creative adrenaline this washed-up industries need. Same for film with Toy Story 3.”

Comment by DK

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True Brains

Over the Hedge

Vampires are so over.  That whole head twister sex thing on True Blood last night iced it.  I like True Blood, but there was a Sea World of shark jumping going on in that scene.  Don’t make me.  I made you.  I hate you.  I love you.  I have no choice so, I’ll twist your head around backwards so I don’t have to look it while I’m involuntarily banging you.  Huh?

You know what will put True Blood back on track?  Zombies.  Zombies will restore the balance of supernatural power in Bon Ton.   I want to see that Mississippi King command an army of werewolves and vampires vs. an army of zombies.   I want to see  zombies storming the shores of Gulf Port.   I want to see Jackson in flames as a zombie General Sherman marches to the sea.  I mean if you’re going to jump the shark, let’s put a ram jet on the thing and shoot it into orbit.

Zombie space sharks.  Now that would be awesome.

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Spork Dork

Over the Hedge

Tighty-whities look ridiculous on any guy older than four. Boxers are just not serious underwear.  The boys deserve our support.   That leaves boxer-briefs.   Sure, they’re like bike shorts with a handy outtake vent, but if you’re caught in a bank robbery and forced to strip to your underwear you’ll only look slightly less silly than the 300 pound guy in the baby banana hammock*.  Just one less delusional paranoid fear to worry about?

Over the Hedge:  Rationalizing crazy shit since 1995

*A tip-o-the-pen to Stephan Pastis, creator of  the comic Pearls Before Swine whose editor wouldn’t let him use “banana hammock” in his strip last week.  Remember, amateurs borrow.  Professionals steal.

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Sapstick (sic)

Over the Hedge

I think the world might line up for a Hammy hug.  I know I would.

We now return to our regualr ascerbic snarkfest in 5…4…3….2….1….

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Spanx the Monkey

Over the Hedge

Let’s just forget about this week, okay?   Except for the biker bunny slippers.  Wish we could merch those.

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G.I. Joe: Soldier, Sailor, Marine, Exorcist

Over the Hedge

Let’s us count the gags that somehow do not reach comedy combustion:

  • Exorcism for Dummies
  • Verne dressed as Gene Simmons playing a banjo.
  • Goth bunny slippers
  • Substituting G.I. Joe for a cross.
  • Substituting V8 for holy water.
  • Now with extra fiber.
  • And the colored birds sing.

Over the Hedge:  We try harder.  Sometimes too hard.

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Scaramouche, Bismillah and Freddie Mercury’s Cat

Over the Hedge

Apparently, Freddie Mercury’s favorite cat’s name was Delilah and he wrote a song about her.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Over the Hedge:  Fun Facts AND a wakcy squirrel.

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Dead Serious Screenplay

Occasionally, with great effort and little to no reward, I write screenplays.   Dead Serious is one of these flights of folly.

I started Dead Serious with my RingTales partner Jim Cox back in 2000.  It’s been through many iterations along the way.  Iterations is screenwriter speak for endless drafts for nervous, risk-averse executives.

Dead Serious is about a work-obsessed/family ignoring insurance salesman who dies, meets Death and agrees to show him what makes life worth living in exchange for his life back.   In other words,  “It’s Not Such a Wonderful Life.”  Oh, and it has a zombie penguin in it.

Jim dropped away somewhere in 2002 for a paying gig while I soldiered on.  It was optioned by Core Digital Pictures in 2005 for Beacon Pictures to produce for Disney.  Which is an impressive way of saying it went nowhere.   Eventually, I got it back and was fortunate to have the good folks at the Austin Film Festival arrange a live reading with actors and audio visual embellishments.  The reading went great.  Friends had that confused, incredulous look on their face that says, “You did this?”  Like I said, it was great. The reading was recorded with a static camera.  I’d post the video, but it’s basically unwatchable to anyone other than the screenwriter and his mother.

You can read a pdf version here or go to the Michael Fry page under my credits to find another link.

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