Preschool Mutant Ninja Squirrel

Over the Hedge

This one doesn’t quite work.  Let’s start with the actual script I sent to T back on 8/30 for this one:

Sunday  10.10

Verne sits on log.  RJ in hammock watching TV.
——–
Verne hops up like he’s been goosed.

SFX:  Zing!

V:  Ooo!
————
V:   You feel that?

RJ:  What?
————-
RJ rises out of the hammock like he’s been goosed.

SFX:  Zing!

RJ:  Whoa…

V:  That.
————–
V:  It’s like one second your sitting here reading about corns and the next you’re….

RJ:  …Feelin’ groovy.
—————
Pull up to the tree above looking down.  We see Hammy, in full NINJA outfit, hiding in the tree.  His splayed, arms and legs outward, with his back to the tree trunk.  He’s on the opposite side of the tree from RJ and Verne.

V:  Weird.

RJ:  Spooky.
———-
Same.

H (to audience):  Feel that?

SFX (from O.S.):  Zing!
———-
H (to audience):   Ninja hug.
———
H (to audience):  You’re welcome.

(note.  I feel like the last three panels need to be separate for emphasis.  Like there’s a little beat beating each one)

So, T drew pretty much exactly what I wrote.  I think it gets lost in the penultimate panel.   The idea was that Hammy stayed still and the hug (because he’s faster than the speed of light) happened off stage.   In fact, T interpreted the goosing as the physical act of Hammy hugging RJ and Verne — when my intent was more of a quick, “what was that?” sort of thing that happened so fast you wouldn’t see it.

Probably, if we did roughs, I could have corrected this.  But we don’t because, well, you know, that would put an extra day or two between us and our deadline and who wants that kind of buffer?

Over the Hedge:  Always a surprise inside!

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2 Comments

Filed under Comic Commentary

2 responses to “Preschool Mutant Ninja Squirrel

  1. JAS

    It did come across, though, as Hammy doin’ the FTL Ninja hugs, maybe because that’s what I expect of Hammy? Love the drawing on this one by T, too, especially that last panel of Hammy!

  2. Actually, I thought this one worked very well. I felt hugged.

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