Pandoran Sweat Shop Blues

Over the Hedge

In the cut-throat, bottom line world of Universe Fabric Fabrication no one can compete with the blue people.  Unfortunately, Pandora being out of reach of the long arm of the House Commerce Committee, has a few QOS issues.  Shoddy quantum workmanship, defective inter-dimensional connectivity and traces of lead used to bind sub-atomic string membranes have all contributed to a sub-standard product with an extremely high caffeinated squirrel rip to tear failure rate.

Until these QOS issues are addressed we at the Over the Hedge Intitute for a Safer Reality cannot with good conscience recomment universe fabric fabricated from Pandora.   That is all.

Over the Hedge:  Making the world safe from alien outsourcing since 1995


1 Comment

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One response to “Pandoran Sweat Shop Blues

  1. The Pandorans have over 347 words for ‘blue.’ They have a word referring specifically to ‘the precise shade of blue your uncles nose turns when he’s had too much of a good time at the Winter Feast’ and another word entirely for ‘the hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional shade of blue that probably runs everything according to the conspiracy theorists,’ and yet another word entirely for ‘the hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional shade of blue that really does run everything, but the conspiracy theorists don’t realize it yet.’

    Figures that the movie was underwritten by the Pandora Tourism Board, to present an agrarian, pastoral idea of what Terrans think Pandora is like, discretely ignore the major industrial centres and rapid suburban growth in most of the planet. Sort of like The Quiet Man, except by aliens.

    The haze of ‘blue that resembles but isn’t quite like the blue found in an ill Babydoran’s diaper’ smog is getting to be a bit of a problem in much of the planet, I hear.

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