Monthly Archives: February 2011

Rock Stars From Mars

Over the Hedge

I didn’t have the bucket in the script.  Nice addition from T.

As I’ve said in the past, I write these a couple weeks ahead of time.  But for the life of me I can’t remember why I thought Hammy doing impressions was a good idea.   I vaguely recall getting the idea from some sitcom, but I may have dreamed that.   That’s the think with getting older…  your memories and your dreams get all jumbled and reality gets a little squishy.

At least that’s my excuse.  I have no idea what Charlie Sheen’s excuse is…

“I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitching, a total fricking rock star from Mars, and people can’t figure me out; they can’t process me. I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with a normal brain.”

Maybe Hammy understands Charlie.

Rock Stars from Mars speak the same language.*

*Crazy.


 

 

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What’s My Sign?

Over the Hedge

Should have ended this one on Hammy’s line followed by a sigh from Verne.

Sigh.

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Kansas In Your Rearview Mirror

Over the Hedge
Somewhere over the rainbow
Hammy flies.
Squirrels fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can’t I?

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Play It Again, Hammy

Over the Hedge

Captain Renault: What in heaven’s name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We’re in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed.

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You Say You Want a Revolution…

Over the Hedge

I was born in 1959, raised in a Republican household.  My father was/is an Ayn Rand Objectivist.  Today, I am neither a Republican or an Objectivist, nor am I Marxist or an admirer of Che Guevera.   My politics are pragmatic, middle of the road and frankly boring.   What I am is a half-assed humorist and a satirist.

The endlessly reproduced photo of Che Guevara is unarguably one of the most iconic images of the 20th century.   Some see Guevara as a revolutionary hero.  Others see him as a violent terrorist.  I see him for what he is today:  reduced to wearing a Bart Simpson shirt.

I think New Yorker cartoonist Mathew Diffe’s image is funny.   And I think Che wearing a beret with Hammy’s image is a further silly/ironic reductionist absurdity.   Think of a one way number line with Che on the left end, Bart in the middle and Hammy on the right end.   Doesn’t that feel like we’re headed in the right direction?

I agree.

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Hammy Road

Over the Hedge

Most people blame Yoko Ono for the break up of the Beatles, but the truth is that a silly squirrel is the real culprit.

Hammy joined the Beatles as a harmonica wrestler shortly after their trip to India.   He bonded with each of the Beatles in turn.  John admired Hammy’s free spirit.  Paul liked that Hammy could be cute without being cloying.   George thought Hammy was the reincarnation of his boyhood pet hamster.  And Ringo thought Hammy was soft.   Each Beatle saw in Hammy what they were not:  free, schmaltz lite, spiritually connected and furry.   And each was inspired by Hammy to seek their separate path to enlightenment and/or eternal hammyness.

“All you need is love.”

And Hammy.

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The Moon is Made of Grey Cheese

Over the Hedge

How exactly did Hammy get to the moon, you might ask?

No one really knows, but I speculate in the late sixties Hammy got hooked on the Tang, heard NASA had a big stash in that tall steamy looking thing, paid off Gunter the pad leader and stowed away aboard Apollo 11.

Look closely at the the video below of Armstrong first step on the moon.  At the 37 second mark there is a ghostly shadowy figure at the top of the ladder that may be a squirrel.   Or a smudge.  Or maybe Dick Nixon.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

It’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.

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