Monthly Archives: October 2011

The Many Names of Hammy

Rerun week!  This one’s from 2009 when I had more hair and I was clearly much, much funnier.

No one ever calls me stud biscuit either.

Hammy and I have so much in common.

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How To Think Like Hammy

Step 1:  Don’t think.

Step 2:  I said, STOP thinking.

Step 3:  Okay, you know that thing you’re doing with your brain? STOP DOING IT!!

Step 4:  Take a giant bite of a snow cone. Swallow.  BRAIN FREEZE!!

Step 5:  Let you mind wander.*

(*But remember to use a leash).

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Occupy Suburbia: The Great Critter-American Migration

Heads up that next week is a vacation week of reruns and then we’ll get back to the Occupy Suburbia storyline on 11/7.  Normally, we wouldn’t break up a storyline like this, but T was off entertaining the troops in Afghanistan last week and it sort of played hell with our schedule.

I think he juggles.  Or maybe does impressions.

Huckleberry Hound.  Quick Draw McGraw.  That sort of thing.

Real cutting edge stuff.

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Occupy Suburbia: Let Them Eat Pie

I half expect Gretchen Carlson from Fox and Friends to show up at Zucotti Park handing out cherry pies and saying, “Here’s your bigger slice of the pie.” Then she and Steve Doosy would giggle and they’d be the only ones laughing.

Except for the Koch brothers.

They think Tim Allen’s new show is funny.

 

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Occupy Suburbia: Rachel Maddow Guest Stars

God, this drives me nuts.  T took his dull hatchet to the dialogue on this one without consulting me again.  Here’s the actual script:

On animals watching TV in kitchen

Inset:   Occupy Suburbia:  Day 4

Rachel/TV:   The Occupy protests have now spread to suburbia.

————-
On Rachel on screen standing in front of house.

Rachel:   In this ranch house behind me, a group of wild animals have taken up residence.   

RJ:   What wild animals?!

V:   Um… us?

—————-  
RJ texts as he talks.  

Rj:  I cream rinse my tail.  You exfoliate.  And Hammy forages for fun-yums.  

H:  Fun-Yummmmmmms

——-
On Rachel looking at her phone.  

Rachel:   Excuse me.  I stand corrected.  Inside, are a group of “Critter-Americans”.  

V (O.S.): Critter-Americans?

RJ (O.S.):    Shut up.  It polled well. 

“In this house, BEHIND ME…”  makes sense.  Take out “behind me” and you have no idea what house she’s talking about.   Not to mention, it  just sounds awkward and poorly written.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

(note:  The photo we used of Rachel looks crappy due to the half-tone manipulation for newspapers).

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Occupy Suburbia: The Maraschino Cherry Connection

It’s true, Rachel Maddow considers herself something of a mixologist and has been known to enjoy a Manhattan or three.  Stands to reason that she’s developed a serious maraschino cherry addiction.

Despite that, Hammy still loves her.

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Occupy Suburbia: The One Percent Solution

I love this punch line.

“Nice job, Mike,” he said to himself in a creepy self congratulatory way that revealed a disturbing degree of narcissism.

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