Monthly Archives: February 2012

Get Up Offa DAT Thing!

Should be, “Get up offa DAT thing!” Everybody knows you can’t get up offa THAT thing.

THAT thing has a stick up it.


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Top 5 Ways to Improve The Walking Dead

5.  Throw Lori to the Walkers.

4.  Have the Walkers throw Lori back.

3.  Add cowboys and aliens.

2.  Two words:  Zombie Glee

1.  Add a polar bear and a mad French woman.




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The One Where RJ Keeps His Conscience In the Fridge Next To the Cocktail Onions

Actually this is the second or third comic where RJ keeps his conscience in the fridge next to the cocktail onions.

Cocktail onions are used to make a Gibson.  A Gibson is simply a gin martini with onions instead of olives.

1 1/2 oz gin
3/4 oz vermouth
2 cocktail onions

Please drink responsibly.  For example, I always use a designated drawer when I drink. Always.

His name is T Lewis.

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Joey is the Cruelest Month

January is the liquid nitrogen of months.

February is the cruelest month.

March is the the darkest before the dawn month.

April is the nuttiest professor of months.

May is the Glee of months.

June is the triumph of hope over experience month.

July is the sparkly-est month.

August is the molten lead of months.

September is the month before October of months.

October is the gradual depletion of chlorophyll month.

November is the stuffiest month.

December is the guiltiest month.



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Never Let Your Dramatic License Expire

Please, before it’s too late, go down to the DAV (Department of Artistic Vehicles), stand in line, be patient when you get to the head of the line and six out ten clerks go on break and get your Dramatic License renewed.

Remember, operating an artistic vehicle without a license is punishable by a fine and/or not more than three days hard labor watching the last seven Adam Sandler movies on a continuous loop.

That is all.


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The One With the Star of the Best Country-Western Orangutan Movie Ever Made

It takes a special kind of actor to star opposite an ape. It takes someone who is very secure, realizes they’ll be upstaged and knows if the thing tanks he can always make another Dirty Harry movie.

But it didn’t tank.  Every Which Way But Loose is Eastwood’s 6th highest domestic grossing film ($85 million in 1978).  I vaguely remember it.  But I do remember enjoying it.

Also, it’s one of Hugh Grant’s four favorite films.

So there’s that.


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The One Where Clint Eastwood Threatens Verne

See where T drew Clint with a shovel butt?

For T’s sake, I Hope Clint didn’t.

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