Monthly Archives: June 2012

Prometheus Wept

The problems with Prometheus are legion.  And better itemized by others.  It just astonishes me that a great director and couple really good writers (I’m not part of the Damon Lindelof of “Lost” fame lynch mob) could go so wrong.   My only guess is that they ran out of time to fix the egregious plot black holes and the head scratching WTF moments.

I leave you with my favorite “sacrifice logic for gratuitous gore” moment.

Two scientists, lost and completely freaked out, retreat to the main Engineer ballroom.  There they encounter some sort of phallic/vaginal have-we-left-out-any-genital-imagery snake/serpenty thing.   So, what do they do?

They poke it.  No, seriously.  They poke it.  Why?  Who the hell knows.  Guess what happens next…

Scientist splatter.  Red goo city.   Stupid, stupid scientists.

It’s quite an accomplishment when by the end the filmmakers have you rooting for the monsters to win.

Congratulations, Ridley.

 

 

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Top 5 Uses For a Squid Spleen

5.  Good Source of Vitamin A in case you have Night Blindness or have a real hard time swallowing pills.

4.  Cat nip for Vampires.

3.  In many cultures the gift of a dried squid spleen is considered a proposal of plural marriage.

2.  When Popeye would run out of spinach, he’d substitute with squid spleens.  If he couldn’t find any HGH.

1.  Since squid spleens don’t really exist, their only real use is as a mildly amusing alliterative gag in modestly successful comic strips featuring an OCD turtle.

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The One Where We Sacrifice History For a Joke

Yeah, I got it wrong.  In colonial America witches floated.  Non witches  sunk… and mostly drowned (which tended to shut down on the counter suits for slander).  But Verne can’t sink, so I purposefully (I swear in retrospect) fudged history for the sake of a gag.

It’s my comic strip and I’ll make stuff up if I want to.

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Verne Agonistes

Verne suffers so others may laugh.

“Comedy is not pretty.”  –  Steve Martin

 

 

 

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Thank you, Bob

Do you ever wonder about the first person who said, “Check out this milk I stored in a cow’s stomach.  It’s all clumpy. I think I’ll separate the clumpy parts from the watery parts, add some salt, press the result into a mold and let it sit for a few days, weeks, months or years and then eat it.”?

It’s probably the same person who said, “I’ll let this barely germinate a little, but not too much, then roll it a little, but not too much, then soak the rolled barely in hot water to release the sugars, then add some hops for flavor and boil the result for a little while, but not too long, then cool what’s left  a little, but not too much, then add yeast, then let sit for a few weeks, but not too many, then filter the result and drink it (a little, but not too much).

I’m going to say his name was Bob.

Thank you, Bob.

 

 

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Cheesepocalyse Now

A world without cheese is like a day without an obscure meandering comic strip staring a cast of talking self-absorbed animals.

With thumbs.

And pockets.

And issues.

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Hammigami

Mo’ beta’ meta!

Nicely done by T.   That venti chi latte is bigger than RJ’s head.

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