Some day we’ll get a handle on this operation.
Just what the world needs… an influx of short, highly skilled workers competing for sparse global toy building jobs. When the elves find their path to prosperity blocked by anti-immigrant fever they’re sure to grow embittered and enraged and will almost certainly lash out in the only way they know how: shin kicking.
You won’t know where. You won’t know when. Then…just when you least expect it…. WHAM! You’ll get shin kicked.
You’ll look down, but the shin kicker will be gone, having disappeared into the mist.
Don’t laugh. Laugh and shin-kickers win. This is a war. A war on shin-kicking. Stay alert. Keep your head on a swivel.
Stay twitchy my friends.
Global warming really means that the giant turtle that carries the Earth on its back across the universe is now a five pack a day smoker and the second hand heat from his Salem 100’s is warming the planet and causing the weather to go all higgly-piggly — with warmer warms and colder colds and wetter wets and drier drys.
But that doesn’t make for a very interesting storyline about the North Pole melting in the middle of winter now does it?
So, get off my back and get on that turtle’s back and slap on a nicotine patch.
That is all.
We don’t put up Christmas lights because our nearest neighbor lives a quarter mile away. The only ones that would seen them would be the turtles, raccoons and squirrels on our property. And they might not see them either because they rarely come out of our attic. They’re having too much fun ripping out wiring, wall board and insulation to concern themselves with the holidays.
Maybe we should put up lights in our attic. Maybe the resulting holiday warmth and good cheer will cause the critters to reconsider their destructive ways and take up the path of peace and good will for all creatures.
But probably not.