Monthly Archives: November 2012

Christmas is Cancelled, Long Live Hanukkah

oh121130Not sure what’s going on with those purple squiggles. I don’t think T colors the dailies. I think it’s done by someone at the syndicate. Someone with a four year old and a box of Crayolas.

Some day we’ll get a handle on this operation.

Some day.

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The One Where Verne Can’t Win For Losing (Version #768)

I like how in this one  Verne the victim becomes the bully only to be bullied back into a victim. It’s like a cruel infinite loop of frustration and pain.

In other words, it’s funny.

Because it’s not happening to you.

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What Brown Can’t Do For You

UPS may love logistics, but they can’t walk or drive on water.

Although they can seriously rock some brown shorts.


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Laugh and the Shin-Kickers Win

Just what the world needs… an influx of short, highly skilled workers competing for sparse global toy building jobs. When the elves find their path to prosperity blocked by anti-immigrant fever they’re sure to grow embittered and enraged and will almost certainly lash out in the only way they know how:  shin kicking.

You won’t know where. You won’t know when. Then…just when you least expect it….  WHAM!  You’ll get shin kicked.

You’ll look down, but the shin kicker will be gone, having disappeared into the mist.

Don’t laugh.  Laugh and shin-kickers win. This is a war. A war on shin-kicking. Stay alert. Keep your head on a swivel.

Stay twitchy my friends.

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Santa Is Swimming to Town

Okay, before everyone goes ballistic on the cartoonist license I took on the term, “global warming,” please be assured that I understand what the term really means.

Global warming really means that the giant turtle that carries the Earth on its back across the universe is now a five pack a day smoker and the second hand heat from his Salem 100’s is warming the planet and causing the weather to go all higgly-piggly — with warmer warms and colder colds and wetter wets and drier drys.

But that doesn’t make for a very interesting storyline about the North Pole melting in the middle of winter now does it?

So, get off my back and get on that turtle’s back and slap on a nicotine patch.

That is all.


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A Star Shall Blind Them

We don’t put up Christmas lights because our nearest neighbor lives a quarter mile away.  The only ones that would seen them would be the turtles, raccoons and squirrels on our property. And they might not see them either because they rarely come out of our attic. They’re having too much fun ripping out wiring, wall board and insulation to concern themselves with the holidays.

Maybe we should put up lights in our attic. Maybe the resulting holiday warmth and good cheer will cause the critters to reconsider their destructive ways and take up the path of peace and good will for all creatures.

But probably not.

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A Turtle Will Fly!

Late post today. Been playing golf and taking it easy over the holiday weekend.  I might even take a nap.  Right…about….ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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