Monthly Archives: January 2013

The Queen Was Not Pleased

oh130131Verne’s sure traveled a lot more than I have.  Doesn’t seem fair.

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Verne Is From Mars, The Arm Is From Venus

oh130130I stole today’s title from Digital Frog over at 

I like to think my creative thieving is a sign of generosity. I generously admit when someone comes up with a better/funnier idea than I can.

I’m able to do this because a long, long time ago I was bit by a radioactive weasel that gave me superpowers of rationalization.

P.S.:  Nice strategically located Louvre bar today.

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Verne Almost Dies, Wins Darwin Award

oh130129“There are no such things as accidents, only random acts of liability.”

-A line I wrote in a never-to-be produced screenplay

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So You Want to be a Leisure Artists

oh130128No, I don’t know what happened to winter.  Yesterday the hot tub was frozen, today there’s green grass.  As you know, dear reader, I do not draw the strip.  Some guy in Omak, Washington with seasonal reflective disorder draws it.  He suffers from a cumulative brain injury brought on by years of abusing Excedrin to stay up late to make deadlines.  Basically, he gets his seasons confused.  Also, he confuses his hat and shoe size.  And sometimes he thinks he’s Judy Garland.  But only the Wizard of Oz years.

We should all be patient with him.  A little green grass in January is a small price to pay for years of furry hijinks.

BTW, Furry Hijinks is his porn name.  But let’s just keep that between you and me.

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Hammy on Ice

oh130127The East German judge gives Hammy’s performance a 1.  Mostly because there isn’t an East Germany anymore and Hilda is still bitter about it.

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Annoyingly Irritating

oh130126If the Tree That Knows Stuff fell on our heroes and EVERYONE saw it, did it happen?

I’m guessing no.

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Cold Toes, Warm Bark


I’m getting sentimental and downright squee-ful in my old age. Cynicism and sarcasm are always the first to go.  Followed quickly on stage by multi-chins, gut spillage and butt sag.  And before you know it…

There go the pants.


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Tree Hugger

oh130124Someone should make a kid’s sized plush Hammy with outstretched hug-ready arms.

Yup. Someone should do that.



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The Cow Bell Tolls For Thee

oh130123I do a decent Christopher Walken impression (along with half of the planet).  Some day I’ll screw up the courage and post a video.  Not today.  Today I have more important things to do:

1. Check Odd Squad reviews

2. Check Odd Squad Amazon ranking

3. Search Google for Odd Squad mentions

4. Think about writing week of Hedge

5. Repeat.

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Weak Elbows

oh130122I like writing weeks like this. Nothing important happens. Actually, nothing at all happens. It’s just character business — the petty, loony debates between friends who know each other way too well.

I guess you could say it’s Seinfeldian.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.



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