Hold Me Closer Tony Danza

This is pretty funny. I wrote this?

I guess I did. As loyal readers know I completely forget what I wrote about ten seconds after I wrote it. Which can lead me to be strangely detached from my work. It’s this thing that I do that I forget I do until I remember I did it. And then I feel embarrassed that I forgot I do the thing I do.

Kinda disturbing.

Clearly I should drink more.

The One With a Cow Pile

 You really don’t want to step on today’s punch line.

Trust me.

Comedy = Tragedy – You

You walk across the street and fall through an open manhole: not funny. Anyone else walks across the street and falls through an open manhole: funny. Make the person rich and pompous: really funny. Make the rich, pompous person too fat to fit through the manhole: super funny. Have the fat, rich pompous person get pulled down through the manhole from below by the sewer dwelling alligator: awesomely funny. Have the sewer dwelling alligator from below throw the fat, rich, pompous person back: super awesomely funny. After the sewer dwelling alligator throws him back, the fat, rich pompous person gets stuck upside down in the manhole : hysterical.

I watched a lot of Looney Tunes as a kid.

Pants = Persuasiveness

Little known fact: cows are highly skeptical of scoldings from pants-less raccoons.

Highly skeptical.

It’s true.

A 20% Chance of Scattered Cows

Nothing to see here.

Moving on.  

 

The Genetically Reengineered Hammy of the Future

FYI, we don’t color the daily version of Hedge. If we did we wouldn’t put black dialogue against a dark blue (on my laptop screen) background.

I promise. We wouldn’t.

Contrary to popular opinion we really do want you to be able to read the strip.

We really do.

I promise.

Snake Split

As Jo Allen over at comics.com wrote, “Now why can’t congress do that?”

How To Speak Conversational Hammy in 5 Panels

Hammy is our copilot.

Best If Read By Tuesday

All Cartoon characters go to heaven.

Except for the girls in Apt. 3G.

Good girls go to heaven.

Bad girls go everywhere.

 

Fast, Furry and Out of Control

When you’ve written yourself up a tree and the tree’s on fire and the natives are shooting poison darts and the vampire scorpion on your neck is getting really thirsty and the asteroid the size of Texas with your name on it has just entered the atmosphere there’s only one thing you can do…

Play the Hammy card.

Hammy ex machina.