Verne’s a Witch!

oh150219From Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.

Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?

Peasant 1: Burn them.

Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?

Peasant 1: More witches.

Peasant 2: Wood.

Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?

Peasant 3: …because they’re made of… wood?

Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?

Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.

Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?

Peasant 1: Oh yeah.

Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?

Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!… It floats! Throw her into the pond!

Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?

Peasant 1: Bread.

Peasant 2: Apples.

Peasant 3: Very small rocks.

Peasant 1: Cider.

Peasant 2: Gravy.

Peasant 3: Cherries.

Peasant 1: Mud.

Peasant 2: Churches.

Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!

King Arthur: A Duck.

Sir Bedevere: …Exactly. So, logically…

Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck… she’s made of wood.

Sir Bedevere: And therefore…

Peasant 2: …A witch!

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3 Comments

Filed under Comic Commentary

3 responses to “Verne’s a Witch!

  1. Richard Lindelof

    I wish I had some SPAM right now.

  2. oopsy

    she turned me into a newt!

    i got better!

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