Tag Archives: alcohol

Attack Tongue

Hedge05182017Didn’t realize I used yesterday’s title as a punch line in today’s cartoon.

Triple jeepers.

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Nobody Likes a Drunk Raccoon

Hedge05172017 A fermented maraschino cherry juice hangover is the worst.

Just saying.

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Occupy Suburbia: The Maraschino Cherry Connection

It’s true, Rachel Maddow considers herself something of a mixologist and has been known to enjoy a Manhattan or three.  Stands to reason that she’s developed a serious maraschino cherry addiction.

Despite that, Hammy still loves her.

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How To Eat a Twinkie

Over the Hedge

I watched a YouTube video yesterday about how we’re all going to die of sugar poisoning.  Apparently, sugar rivals ethanol (alcohol) in its toxic effects on the body.  But somehow I find it difficult to equate a Twinkie with a shot of Cuervo Gold.  A Twinkie is all soft and gooey and spongy and packed with  cream-filled slurpy insulin-resistant brain crack.  Tequila, on the other hand,  tastes like fermented cactus spines and drowns out  frontal lobe screams-o-reason like, “All the women DO NOT get prettier at closing time.  It’s dark.  You’re drunk.  Call a cab.  Go home.”

Twinkies make you silly (and eventually, fat).  Tequila makes you stupid.  Silly beats stupid any day.

What about silly AND stupid?  Tequila dipped Twinkies?  I don’t know.  Someone should find out.

I’ll get back to you.

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