Tag Archives: beets

Death Becomes Them

Hedge112418Now this is funny. Great character work.

Can I retire now?

Didn’t think so.

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Beets! It’s What’s Not For Supper

Hedge03132018We’ve met the mold guy before. He’s pretty cool. You know, for a mold guy.

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The One With a Serial Carrot

Hedge07052017The beets had been missing for years… their images faded on the milk carton that sat on Detective Winter’s desk. He had always suspected the carrot. But he never had any evidence.

Until now.

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Absolutely Do NOT Say Squid Spleens Three Times Fast

You didn’t listen did you?  Because you never listen.  That’s just how you roll.  And now see what happened?

You’re smiling.

You’re welcome.

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It’s a Yellow-Flavored Gelatinous Goo World

Over the Hedge

Top five possible things yellow-flavor tastes like?

5.  Lemony snot

4.  Lemony-limey snot

3. Chicken pot pie goo

2. Unicorn brains.

1.  Victory

 

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The One Where RJ Eats Verne’s Head

Over the Hedge

Does anyone actually eat beets?  Have you ever heard anyone say, “Hmm…  I could really use a beet right now.”?  Neither have I.

I have eaten beets — when I forced to as a kid.  They’re pretty disgusting.  Sort of a vegetable that has aspirations of being a fruit, but was last in line when they handed out the fructose.

A beat is actually just a really low sugar apple.   Which is kind of an insult to apples.  Who have their own problems with self esteem.  Apples are fine, if you’re out of bananas or a peaches… or even a pears.   Although don’t get me started on pears.   You never can find a pear with smooth skin.  Doesn’t exist.  They’ve got blotches.  What are those blotches?  Pesticide residue?  Insect poop?  Makes me squirm.   Like ornate antique furniture.  All those decorative curly-cues and inlays are home to antique flesh eating bacteria.   It’s true!  Look it up.   I know these things.

Now, where was I?

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Fearless Leaders Need Fiber Too

Over the Hedge

Today’s menu at the Pottsylvania Old Spies Home:

Breakfast:   Chipped Beet on Toast

Lunch:  Beet-LT’s

Dinner:  Beet tartare.

Snack:  Beet-on-a-stick

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