Tag Archives: cats
I realize a good chunk of the country is praying for rain, but we got hit hard about a week and a half ago (when I wrote today’s comic) with 5-6 inches. Which pretty much never happens. Especially in the middle of the summer.
Our pond is full, the grass is green and our some time leased cattle are back munching the bermuda in our front yard while making hoof craters the size of dinner plates. We have a fence, but thin wooden rails are no match for an 800 pound cow.
This is all short-lived of course. It was back above 100 on Saturday. I mowed the grass and now will have to start watering again. And the pond is slowly subsiding into the surrounding porous limestone. Pretty soon we’ll be back on water restrictions and hit with red flag fire warnings.
In Central Texas we live on the border of the wettish Texas coastal plain where it meets the arid Edwards plateau. A contest between Green and Brown. Green won a recent battle.
But Brown is winning the war.
Behold FFN News #2. Produced by me and the fine folks at Ralph Smyth Entertainment. My role is mainly to stay out their way. Which I do quite well.
I think this episode is a big improvement over #1. The kittens were so much more cooperative this time. We gave in to their demands for private liter boxes and hemp yarn.
If you like it, please share. Far and wide.
But mostly wide.
Check out my latest distraction from making a living below. Produced by me and the fine folks at Ralph Smythe Entertainment (who did almost all the work while I slowed them down with executive notes like, “A kitten wouldn’t say that.” If you like, please share.
I love Hammy’s punch line. It really makes no sense, but it’s a funny kind of no sense. You laugh before you have a chance to think about it. But when you think about it, but it’s too late. You already laughed.
I see a lot of comedy moving in this non sequitor direction. The other night on “The New Girl” one of the characters didn’t want to go on the roof of their building because he was scared of a cat that lived up there. The macho guy rationalized his fear by explaining, “I don’t like the roof, man. There’s a cat up here. It’s crazy. It was raised by birds.”
I know. It doesn’t read that funny. But in the context of the show it was hilarious. And, of course, it makes no sense at all. Cats eat birds. How could a bird raise a cat? It would be like a lion being raised by an antelope. But it was too late.
I’d already laughed.
I don’t really hate cats. I just prefer dogs. Dogs want to be my best friend. Cats want to sleep on my keyboard and plot the overthrow of the galaxy. My theory on cats is they’re like the Cylons on Battlestar Galactica. They look mammalian, but they’re really furry toasters. They’ve been programmed to gain our affection so we’ll take care of them – when what we really should doing is flushing them out the air lock first chance we get.
Psst, Cats… In space, no one can hear you purr.