Tag Archives: cats

Cat Scratch Fever

oh151002 I like cats okay. Despite the fact cats have no regard for me. Or anyone really. Cats are the bad girlfriend of pets. They suck up all the oxygen and attention in a room, give nothing back and leave you wondering what you did wrong.

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In Austin It’s Not Illegal To Throw Chewy Gum At Cats

oh150507 The correct pronunciation of forte is ‘fort.’ No accent at the end means the e is silent. Of course, almost no one pronounces it this way which makes me not a lot of fun at parties.

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Brown vs. Green


I realize a good chunk of the country is praying for rain, but we got hit hard about a week and a half ago (when I wrote today’s comic) with 5-6 inches.  Which pretty much never happens.  Especially in the middle of the summer.

Our pond is full, the grass is green and our some time leased cattle are back munching the bermuda in our front yard while making hoof craters the size of dinner plates.   We have a fence, but thin wooden rails are no match for an 800 pound cow.

This is all short-lived of course. It was back above 100 on Saturday.  I mowed the grass and now will have to start watering again.  And the pond is slowly subsiding into the surrounding porous limestone.  Pretty soon we’ll be back on water restrictions and hit with red flag fire warnings.

In Central Texas we live on the border of the wettish Texas coastal plain where it meets the arid Edwards plateau.  A contest between Green and Brown.  Green won a recent battle.

But Brown is winning the war.



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Feline Future News #2: Lebron James’ Neck Beard/Kanye West’s Twitter Feud

Behold FFN News #2.  Produced by me and the fine folks at Ralph Smyth Entertainment.  My role is mainly to stay out their way.  Which I do quite well.

I think this episode is a big improvement over #1.  The kittens were so much more cooperative this time.  We gave in to their demands for private liter boxes and hemp yarn.

If you like it, please share.   Far and wide.

But mostly wide.

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Feline Future News #1: Tom Cruise’s Kitchen Nightmare

Check out my latest distraction from making a living below.  Produced by me and the fine folks at Ralph Smythe Entertainment (who did almost all the work while I slowed them down with executive notes like, “A kitten wouldn’t say that.”   If you like, please share.


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Occupy Suburbia: With Swedish Subtitles

I love Hammy’s punch line.  It really makes no sense, but it’s a funny kind of no sense.  You laugh before you have a chance to think about it.  But when you think about it, but it’s too late.  You already laughed.

I see a lot of comedy moving in this non sequitor direction.   The other night on “The New Girl” one of the characters didn’t want to go on the roof of their building because he was scared of a cat that lived up there.   The macho guy rationalized his fear by explaining, “I don’t like the roof, man.  There’s a cat up here.  It’s crazy.  It was raised by birds.”

I know.  It doesn’t read that funny.  But in the context of the show it was hilarious.  And, of course, it makes no sense at all.  Cats eat birds.  How could a bird raise a cat?  It would be like a lion being raised by an antelope.   But it was too late.

I’d already laughed.


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Hammy Invents Hamnesday

Over the Hedge

Sure, this is just silly minded piffle, but it’s pretty good silly minded piffle.

Love T’s “Mousequistadors”.

And yes, I believe Hamnesday should fall between Saturday and Sunday thus bringing about the “Eight Days A Week,” as prophesied by the Beatles.

Or as Ed Sullivan said, “The Bee-ules!”


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