Catch and release. And catch. And release. And catch. And release. And catch…
Tag Archives: fishing
Does anyone actually eat beets? Have you ever heard anyone say, “Hmm… I could really use a beet right now.”? Neither have I.
I have eaten beets — when I forced to as a kid. They’re pretty disgusting. Sort of a vegetable that has aspirations of being a fruit, but was last in line when they handed out the fructose.
A beat is actually just a really low sugar apple. Which is kind of an insult to apples. Who have their own problems with self esteem. Apples are fine, if you’re out of bananas or a peaches… or even a pears. Although don’t get me started on pears. You never can find a pear with smooth skin. Doesn’t exist. They’ve got blotches. What are those blotches? Pesticide residue? Insect poop? Makes me squirm. Like ornate antique furniture. All those decorative curly-cues and inlays are home to antique flesh eating bacteria. It’s true! Look it up. I know these things.
Now, where was I?
Apologies for the late post today. Lots going on today to distract me from appointed blogging rounds.
Also apologies for Hammy’s line, “…before it can breed.” Hammy can’t know about breeding. He’s too innocent. I sacrificed character for a gag. Which is one of the few sins that’s actually a sin.
Sorry. It’s been a long day.
I’ve got a t-shirt from years ago with the title of today’s blog entry on it. For those of you born after 1980… After Elvis died in 1977, and for years afterward, there was a near constant stream of Elvis sightings. He was retired and living in Bolivia. He was Goofy at Disneyworld. After plastic surgery, he became George Wendt and played Norm on Cheers. Etc.
My favorite (that I made up) is that he became an Elvis impersonator. I’ve got a a movie pitch about Elvis still alive, hits hard times and has to impersonate himself to make ends meet (©2010 Michael Fry). It opens on a corporate event. An Elvis impersonator (Elvis) takes the stage. Someone in the audience says, “He’s pretty good, but he’s no Elvis.”