Tag Archives: naked

If Hammy Ran the World: Really Casually Friday

Hedge08252017I know. This is quite disturbing. I don’t know what I was thinking.

Though… it’s a funny kind of disturbing.

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The One With the Very Disturbing Third Panel

oh160830That’s Orlando Bloom’s body with Verne’s disturbing head perched atop. Quite disturbing. Like, we’ll NEVER EVER do this again disturbing.

I keep my black box folded up in my wallet.

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Live Nude Critters

oh150815 That’s not a band-aid, it’s a tattoo of a Twinkie. Probably should have indicated with an arrow.

Hammy should probably get Sir Itch-a-Lot checked out.

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Pants Optional

I asked my wife if we could put in a stripper pole in our bedroom.   She liked the idea, but made it clear she wasn’t picking up any clothes I took off.

<cue rim shot>.

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Run Naked

Over the Hedge

Please don’t run naked.  Please.  Really.  No one wants to see that.  Please.

I used to run.  Until my knees, shins, hips and back couldn’t last more than a couple of miles.  No doubt running barefoot may have avoided these injuries.  And replaced them with cut, burned, blistered and bloodied feet.

Now I use a stationary bike.  I pedal to nowhere every morning while I watch The Dan Patrick Show on DirecTV.   I pedal barefoot.   And other than a sore butt, I’m doing fine so far.

So, what have we learned today, Timmy?

  • No one should run naked.
  • Running barefoot can be painful and messy.
  • Sore butts may or may not be a consequence of pedaling barefoot.
  • The Dan Patrick Show may or may not distract you from a sore butt.
  • I really, really want that golf simulator in Dan Patrick’s man cave.

GO NETHERLANDS!

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