Tag Archives: raccoons

Raccoons Rock

hedge012018New Modern Nightmare: Raccoons with chainsaws.

You’re welcome.

 

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He said,”Butt.”

oh160630No. I don’t know where all those other raccoons came from. Other than the necessity to make the joke work.

Now that they’ve served their usefulness I promise they’ll go away.

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Fueled by Twinkies

oh151031Truth lies in the Wikipedia beholder.

We are what we type.

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A Sixth Sense of Touch

oh151030Hmm… a couple days before the Kennedy assassination.

None dare call it conspiracy.

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Raccoons > Bears

oh151029Morphology suggests weasels are a common ancestor. DNA suggests bears. Field observations suggests they’re both wrong. Best guess: raccoons are aliens.

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The Call of the Wild

oh151028I don’t know how the Wild gets around the Do Not Call list, but somehow they do.

Annoying.

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So You Want to be a Raccoon

oh151026¬†RJ isn’t a real raccoon. He’s been genetically (and creatively) modified to provide laughs. Real raccoons aren’t funny. They’re rather dour creatures that lack a sense of humor. Real raccoons couldn’t spell “spit take” if you spotted them the spit and take.

Real raccoons eat worms.

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