Santa Gets Free Dental

That is a good deal. No one telling you to lose weight. No one slapping your hand when you reach for the nachos. No one reading out the number of calories in a Jack-in-the-Box meat lover’s burrito.

Sign me up!

Cable Elves

This explains most cable guy’s casually relationship with time. North Pole time is relative. One second in real world is hours at the North Pole. I know this because I made it up in my (and co-author Bradley Jackson) bestselling Christmas novel, The Naughty List. Now available on ebook in all formats for $1.99.  Click on the cover for the link.

Incontinent reindeer is included.

Top 5 Go To RJ Lines While Under Stress

5.  I am not the droid you’re looking for.

4.  You can have my Twinkie when you pry it from my cold dead fingers.

3.  I have a black belt in screaming like a little girl.

2.  Some Elks Clubs in Saskatchewan worship me like a God.

1.  Look!  Green Lantern!