Tag Archives: UFO

Top 5 Reasons Not to Release Balloon Animals Into the Wild

5.  Threat to aviation.

4.  Can’t hunt helium on their own.

3.  May be mistaken for UFO’s causing widespread docu-dramas on The History Channel.

2.  May join forces with escaped inflatable gorillas and take over the world.

1.  The wild’s really spiky.

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How to Hypnotize a Squirrel to Feel Like a Chicken

Over the Hedge

I can’t believe I got away with an ancient Clapper gag.   It’s the secondary joke, but still…

For a really subtle tertiary joke it appears that RJ’s Clapper is hooked up to the sun.

Also, that’s not really KFC chicken.  It’s a actually a free-range, organic chicken named Dave who died of natural causes*

*After attempting to cross a road.

 

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Probing Hammy’s Brain

Over the Hedge

The Happy Face visual punch line is nice, but Hammy’s, “I didn’t see any ducks,” makes me laugh.   I think this explains why I’m not a more successful writer.

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What’s Written on the Back of Hammy’s Eyelids?

Over the Hedge

People always ask me where I get my ideas.  I bought this one on Ebay.  Had to outbid Stephan Pastis and Darby Conley for it.

Over the Hedge:  Sparing no expense to entertain you since 1995.

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Probing Suburbia

Over the Hedge

I think UFO’s are real.  I mean, maybe they’re not aliens, but there’s something going on.  Too many unexplained sightings.  What I don’t get is why the sightings are all so similar.  No one ever sees a a flying spatula or a blinking artichoke.  It’s always a saucer or cigar shaped (aliens have penis envy?) or a row of blinking lights.

Here’s my theory.  UFO’s are inter-dimensional or alternate-universe voyeurs.   They zip in to check out the human zoo, get bored quickly and zip out.  I said it’s a theory.

It’s either that or like one of my favorite Far Side cartoons, they’re here to pick up their buddies:

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