Tag Archives: wife

Too Much Mole Information

Hedge051119The dark and hairy side of marriage.

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Compassion > Conflict

oh161022I’m as guilty of lacking in compassion as anyone. Comedy and empathy really don’t mix. And there is no comedy without conflict. Yet… we should all take some time to consider the other’s POV. Just a moment. A second. A nano-second.

Then go ahead and make fun of your dancer wife tripping over a pencil on the floor.

Because, you know, it’s funny.

Sorry, hon.

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The Future Smells Like Old Band-Aids

I never read the manual.  Or a map.  Or road signs.  Or dialogue boxes.  Or warning labels.

I do read my wife pretty well.

Thanks for keeping me alive, honey.

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How to Lose Weight

Over the Hedge

Eat less.  Exercise more.  There’s really nothing more to it.   I’ve lost 7 lbs. since the first of the year (20 more to go).  It’s really hard.  It’s not fun.  It totally sucks.   But I have to do it because I love my wife and she teaches weight management classes for the medically obese and I learned long ago that life is so much simpler when I do what she tells me to do.

I will not give up the beer, though.  Or breakfast tacos.  Or Bluebell Old-fashioned Vanilla ice cream with Triple Sec liquor (left over margarita fixings).  Or a once every two or three months prime New York strip at Bordeaux’s in downtown Kyle, TX.   Or the once a month mole chicken enchiladas at Trudy’s.   Or my once a month famous slow-cooked, smoked baby-backed ribs with the super-secret rub and The Salt Lick’s original BBQ sauce.

Eat less.  Exercise more.  Listen to your wife.  Savor your treats.

It should only take another ten years to lose the other twenty pounds.

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